Where’s the Mother-of-the-Bride?

The mother of the bride isn’t tough to find. She’s me. I’m her. But the mother-of-the-bride DRESS? Now there’s an elusive thought! I had a date with Jenny yesterday to hunt that thing down, kill it, and drag it home.

So mid-afternoon, I strapped on my Merrell’s, tucked my ‘cute-but-deadly shoes’ into my carrying bag, and set out for the mile walk to Bay Area Rapid Transit, aka BART. Bart and I have a love/hate relationship. But yesterday it was mostly love as his body, ten cars long, glided to a stop in front of me.


Rockridge Bart Platform

The air felt freshly scrubbed offering a clear view of the San Francisco skyline across the bay. I whipped out my camera to record the scene as Bart pulled up but Mr. Business Commuterman walked in front of the shot. No second chances with Bart, if I didn’t catch him quick he’d leave me faster than a slippery bill passes through Congress.

I met Jenny at the appointed time and place. She works in the Twitter Building. Yes, the very same Twitter as in the social media phenomenon that has swept the globe. We whisked up to the One King’s Lane offices and I felt like I’d stepped into a scene from 3001 Space Odyssey.

I’ll spare lengthy descriptions, but basically there are no walls. Picture a full city block sized space filled with acres of countertop where every three feet is a very youngish person staring at a very large computer monitor. Often the youngish person is staring at two monster screens at once.

Jen introduced her fossilized mom to co-workers who seemed properly impressed by my advanced age, and we set out for the task at hand.


compliments of adage.com

Another adventure awaited when we hit the street. Jenny whipped out her phone and sent a quick text. “I’m getting a Lyft,” she said, “It’s an App,” and showed me the screen. There was a map with a dot for us and a dot for, “Hi! I’m Sally, your driver. I’m 3 minutes away.”

In three minutes, there was Sally in our pink-mustachioed Lyft car. Jenny jumped into the front seat and I took the back. We exchanged gang greetings (fist bumps all around, evidently a requirement) and sped away. Sally offered us water and gum. I took water, Jenny took gum.

By the time we reached Union Square we knew that Sally teaches yoga in Oakland and just opened a new studio, has a workshop coming up called yogapuncture or some such, that starts with ashtanga yoga and ends with acupuncture. No money exchanged hands as we exited the car. “It comes right out of my Lyft account,” Jen explained when I wanted to know how Sally gets paid. “It’s automatic.” Like I said, 3001 Space  Odyssey.


Jenny in front of the red heart in Union Square

Union Square bustles. It’s also windy. We paused for quick photos and bee-lined for Macy’s. My cute feet already hurt. Jenny, still wearing the adorable, high-heeled chambers of torture she’d had on all day, was miserable. When she learned that I was packing Merrell’s she acquisitioned them for the rest of the afternoon.


An opposite view of Union Square and Macy’s

Macy’s has no lack of dresses. One would think, in a veritable wonderland of retail bliss, there would be hundreds of options. First we gathered our arms full of possibilities. Then I zippered in and out of all of them as Jenny either thumbed up or thumbed down. Mostly she just said, “Ahhh, no.” “Nope, not that one.” “Ummmm maybe not.”  After hours we had three outfits. It took about a minute and a half to nix them all. We looked at each other and stated the obvious: “Food!”

A quick Bart ride later we were back in Oakland at Noodle Theory sucking down cold beer and feasting on beef udon and salmon whatchama ching chang choo. It was a perfect day.


14 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. sageblessings
    Aug 17, 2013 @ 16:42:11

    Fun day for you two. . I love my Merrill’s and NEVER find anything to buy at Macy’s.



  2. shanemac
    Aug 17, 2013 @ 17:32:36

    Colour me jealous. A day with a daughter is a day in heaven and yours sounds divine.



  3. Lottie Nevin
    Aug 17, 2013 @ 22:19:58

    The Dress!! I so don’t envy you Sherry. My eldest is engaged and planning her wedding for sometime next year. I’m dreading finding something to wear. You darling, would look stunning in anything because you are so beautiful. Sore feet aside, it sounds like you had a very good day. I’m loving the idea of the udon and cold beer at the end of it all. Hope you are having a wonderfully happy time with all of your brood 🙂



    • writingforselfdiscovery
      Aug 18, 2013 @ 10:22:08

      You’re too kind and sadly misinformed. I absolutely do not look ‘stunning in anything’ and Jenny will energetically attest to that after being closeted with me in dressing rooms for hours! But I’m confident there’s something out there with my name on it. I think all shopping should BEGIN AND END with alcohol. The udon was just icing on the cake!



  4. Diane Struble
    Aug 18, 2013 @ 03:42:54

    Reminds me of Lisa’a search for the perfect dress for her birthday party. She even looked while we were in India and fortunately found nothing. Back home, she first found one dress that she liked, then another which were by then being evaluated by her friends for their picture worthiness. Ultimately she found a third which was perfect except that it was floor length and she wanted it short. When I reached NY for the party, I shortened the dress with her mother-in-law’s help measuring with the result that it turned out well. Lisa had jewelry to go with each of the three dresses, took all of them to the party and changed her look three times during the evening. She found all of this to be wonderful (as was the entire party). The only way I know that Lisa is mine when it comes to shopping and wardrobe is that I was there when she was born. Hopefully, you and Jenny have more shopping genes than I do.



    • writingforselfdiscovery
      Aug 18, 2013 @ 10:18:02

      Lisa looked fabulous in every one of those three dresses! I saw the photos on Facebook. I have very specialized shopping genes that shine in consignment stores! I like to ‘assemble’ outfits creatively. When I go to Macy’s and all the work has already been done it’s so hard to find something that doesn’t look too match-y. But I guess the aesthetic of formal matching, symmetry, is preferred protocol for weddings.



  5. Karin Grouf
    Aug 18, 2013 @ 07:23:24

    A far cry from Bali but how lucky to be spending special time with your daughter.You’ve got your work cut out and you are up to the task. Enjoy friend.



    • writingforselfdiscovery
      Aug 18, 2013 @ 10:11:25

      Yes, I’m absolutely up to the task. I’m loving getting to know my grown-up ‘baby’ daughter! And you’re right, San Francisco is a far cry from Bali, but it’s a privilege to be able to live here for two months and experience the beauty and culture of this particular part of the world.



  6. Peggy THomas.
    Aug 18, 2013 @ 08:46:33

    Hi Sherry! Long time no contact…Congrats on the upcoming nuptials, and I hope you indeed found “something to wear.” My own daughter Alex is here with us in Missouri at the moment, but is catching a flight out this afternoon, moving to Hawaii!
    She just completed a yoga training program a couple of weeks ago in LA, and is heading out to the tropical paradise of Kawai (sp?) for yet another adventure. I hope you have a wonderful time in San Fran with your family. Peggy Thomas.



    • writingforselfdiscovery
      Aug 18, 2013 @ 10:08:27

      Peggy! It’s been years! It’s so good to hear from you. I wish your daughter the best as she heads out on her new adventure. As far as something to wear for the wedding…not yet! I’m sure by W-Day I’ll have something wonderful…Jenny won’t rest until that happens! Keep in touch!



  7. healingpilgrim
    Aug 18, 2013 @ 21:16:07

    Wow, what an adventure.. in / by a Lyft?! So THAT’s what I’ve (we’ve) been missing while holed up in the tropical backwaters of Ubud 😉 Never mind bahasa, Gen Lyft’s lingo is way over my head! Good luck with the shopping.. if all fails, and if Jenny concedes, you just might be able to fall back on your trusty sarong & Mona Lisa-esque kebaya (haha)!! xx



    • writingforselfdiscovery
      Aug 18, 2013 @ 23:13:48

      Never in a million years would my ‘temple clothes’ pass Jenny’s muster! But good news…I have in my possession, THE DRESS and THE SHOES. Today’s shopping met with success and I am very pleased with the results.



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