Creating A Life That Fits Like Skin



Something transforming happens when one is removed from a familiar environment and transported out of the comfort zone. In a place where there are no expectations there is tremendous freedom to be whoever you are.  I have experienced that exhilarating truth first-hand and the joy of living honestly and fully is an unimaginable gift.

I didn’t expect to fall in love with a place. People, yes. Place, no. After moving over forty times in  my life, living in six different states, traveling in many different countries, I knew there were some locations that drew me more than others. But love? Hardly.

And then I discovered Bali. Exotic, warm, welcoming, kind, with an energy so profoundly feminine I felt cradled in her moist, green arms. The people, the vistas, the rituals, overwhelmed me with a sense of belonging. I marveled at that. Why? How? But I couldn’t deny that I felt complete in this place and the loneliness that had haunted me all my life vanished when I yielded to her embrace.

That was March 2012 and I haven’t looked back. The life I have here is so unlike anything remotely possible in the U.S. that even as I’ve attempted to describe it in my blog posts, it’s the bare essence of reality.

An equatorial, tropical island, developmentally stuck somewhere between the 1960’s and 2016, is not everyone’s dream of paradise. Maybe it’s a house in the country. Maybe it’s New York City. As with most things, one size does not fit all. The challenge, then, is to find what does fit, and pursue that dream as if life depended upon it, refusing to let fear or doubt have a voice. Do it, do it, do it! Because until that place welcomes you home, you have no idea how joyous and complete life can be.



44 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Bobbi DeGuiseppi
    Mar 17, 2012 @ 07:28:20

    I am encumbered by what I have created in my life too, Sherry…So I wish you every happiness in your venture,,, Sounds Great!!!


  2. Nancy Strauss
    Mar 19, 2012 @ 21:14:56

    Congrats Sherry!! I’m realy happy for you & look forward to your blogs. (I think I can figure out how to do this . . .)
    Love Nancy


  3. Sharon Henderson
    Mar 26, 2012 @ 15:43:47



  4. Steve Kahlenbeck
    Jun 25, 2012 @ 14:21:21

    Sherry – congratulations on your exciting journey. It sounds very intriguing. Much of my work involves writing. Although not to the creative degree that you are following. Whether Bali, the Boundary Waters or Lake Pokegama, I agree that the setting and atmosphere can open up wonderful possibilities. All the best. Steve


  5. rae
    Jul 10, 2012 @ 10:21:37

    I’ll be following you and possibly visiting…


  6. happycatie
    Aug 11, 2012 @ 11:30:16

    Sounds wonderful…what a beautiful way to spend some time away!


  7. anspired
    Oct 27, 2012 @ 23:38:33

    What a fabulous recipe for recovery!I have been battling a chronic illness and just yesterday thought ‘I need to go away for a long time’ Bali sounds Wonderful! thank you for this post.


    • writingforselfdiscovery
      Jun 04, 2013 @ 23:02:25

      I just wanted to send a note to alert you to the upcoming November 2013 Writing for Self-Discovery and Yoga Workshop in Bali. Is this a vehicle to jumpstart your ‘going away for a very long time’ journey?


  8. drewdog2060drewdog2060
    Nov 27, 2012 @ 10:24:18

    I have always wanted to visit Indonesia. Your seminar (if that is the correct term) sounds wonderful.


    • writingforselfdiscovery
      Nov 27, 2012 @ 11:08:07

      Thank you for the kind words. Seminar/workshop/class/journey…it is whatever you want it to be. One participant just bought her plane tickets for the whole month of February combining a vacation with the 10-day seminar. Why don’t you do the same?! Bali is the best of Indonesia and I would be delighted to answer any questions and help to make this the adventure of a lifetime for you.


    • writingforselfdiscovery
      Jun 04, 2013 @ 23:00:02

      Just checking in with you, drewdog2060 to see if the upcoming November Writing and Yoga Workshop in Bali would work for your first visit to Indonesia! I’m partnering with Jane Kagan, a fabulous yogini from Australia at the Narasoma Retreat Center in Ubud. Check it out on the ‘Workshops’ link in the menu above.


  9. heysherrifaye
    Nov 27, 2012 @ 17:50:17

    This is fantastic. It has been a joy to witness your renaissance in the 8 or 9 years that I have known you!


  10. tr4velgeek
    Jan 01, 2013 @ 06:16:28

    Wow ! I would love to join, unfortunately can’t take long leave from work this Feb. Maybe next time? All the very best too you.


  11. Kasprick KATHLEEN
    Jun 03, 2013 @ 12:02:56

    Dear Sherry,
    I’m serious about attending. Have not much experience in being a solo traveller. My life, like others’ lives, is clutter, messy, and not too fulfilling. Are you a decent handholder (not therapist) but a cheerleader? Give me encouragement, please.


    • writingforselfdiscovery
      Jun 03, 2013 @ 22:55:56

      I am most definitely not a therapist! But cheering and encouragement are 99% of the job description! Travelling solo is empowering as long as you remain flexible. It would be lovely to have you here for the workshop in November. I would highly recommend coming a few days early since jet-lag from America must be factored in. Then stay a few more weeks after the workshop to explore and enjoy this amazing island and it’s beautiful people. After the workshop my time is much more available, too. How exciting, Kath! I am here to answer any questions. Fire away!


      • Kasprick KATHLEEN
        Jun 04, 2013 @ 11:25:16

        Sheri, I think I’m in. As to being flexible, I’m not sure I recall what that feels like or how it looks. We have a household of 675 rules, we keep every record written, we scour bills for errors. Heck, we, like kittens, pounce on errors. That’s a sad truth.And, perhaps, sadder still, that’s what has kept us together. Too much truth perhaps, but facing it does…..what’s that about “sets you free?”

        hugs from the heartland, and heart.


  12. Caitlin @ The Siren's Tale
    Jul 02, 2013 @ 13:30:00

    That picture is classic!


  13. Bob Bruman
    Jul 16, 2013 @ 18:05:11

    Tell her I will buy everything on her head. (jk) lol What a fun woman!


  14. Nanci Froemming
    Oct 03, 2013 @ 09:04:13

    Thank you for sharing your wonderful experience of helping plan your daughter’s wedding. It looks like a dream!


    • writingforselfdiscovery
      Oct 03, 2013 @ 17:26:14

      And so it was! But now I’m back home and had dinner with Nina and Dewi last night. I think Dewi grew 4 inches while I was gone! They are busily packing for their trip back to the States. Enjoy your time with them, Nanci! I hope I have the opportunity to meet you some day soon!


    Dec 18, 2013 @ 22:39:30

    Hello There. I found your weblog the usage of msn.
    That is a very smartly written article. I’ll be sure to bookmark it and return to learn
    more of your useful info. Thank you for the post.

    I’ll definitely return.


  16. Karin Grouf
    Aug 25, 2014 @ 14:23:31

    When we push ourselves we discover how capable we are and lose fears along the way. It is called wisdom. Sometimes when we least expect it there is a subtle shift in our thinking that sets other things in gear. Opening our heart and mind is the essence.


  17. Karin Grouf
    Aug 25, 2014 @ 14:52:56

    Many forms of expression. Mine is painting and journaling with painting. More than photos it permits me to record a moment in time and all that surrounded it.


  18. Judy Falkoff
    Apr 15, 2016 @ 20:24:05

    I needed this today. Guess what? I’m going to “do it” now! I just might see you in Bali.


    • writingforselfdiscovery
      Apr 15, 2016 @ 21:12:42

      It’s delightful when the right thing crosses our path at just the right moment. I’m happy that you found the post helpful in such a motivating way! People, women especially, often don’t believe we can have what we want. Sometimes we have to find very creative means to an end, but once we believe, the universe thrills to assist in manifesting our dreams in the most unexpected, crazy ways. I wish you the absolute BEST as you follow yours and I hope to meet you soon in Bali.


  19. Elizabeth
    May 12, 2016 @ 15:04:15

    How can I find a place to rent in Bali for just 1-2 months to try it out?


    • writingforselfdiscovery
      May 12, 2016 @ 23:41:42

      There are hundreds of places listed through You can choose your price-range and browse for hours saving the ones you’re considering in your favorites. Many places offer discounts for extended stays. If you plan to be here for two months, you might like to rent in several different areas to find your ‘happy place’! Ubud is the cultural center, full of tourists, and has great restaurants, affordable housing, fabulous traditional dance performances, music, etc. It is a central location from which to take one day or half day tours all over the island. The beaches on the southern coastline have an entirely different feel. Kuta is a hard-partying area. Sanur has been described as sleepy but I find it tranquil. Seminyak is upscale, and so forth. If you stay for 2 months, I would suggest getting your 60 day Visa through the Indonesian Consulate nearest you. That way you won’t have to interrupt your visit with a quick trip out of the country and back again to renew the Visa on Arrival which is only good for 30 days and cannot be renewed. If you find some places you think you might like, send me the link and I’ll give you feedback on the location. Some postings are a little less than accurate and people are disappointed when they land in rural Bali thirty minutes from the nearest town!


  20. Shannon Forester
    Jun 05, 2016 @ 14:05:05

    I know Jessa from yoga and find your story so inspiring. Looking forward to reading your blog and living vicariously through you! Thank you.


    • writingforselfdiscovery
      Jun 05, 2016 @ 18:45:36

      Jessa is a treasure in my life! Thank you for letting me know that my writing inspired you. That’s the goal. There is so much news that isn’t inspiring and I always find it necessary to balance the distressing messages with equal doses of happiness.


  21. Patrick
    Aug 01, 2016 @ 02:43:51

    Enjoyed the article. Glad to see you are happy in your life and in your retirement. Stay safe.


  22. Linda Harris
    Aug 24, 2016 @ 19:35:04

    I love your blog! I’d like to hear more about your upcoming workshops!


    • writingforselfdiscovery
      Aug 24, 2016 @ 19:49:37

      I’m so glad you enjoy the blog. I appreciate your interest in the writing workshops, however I now work only with individuals in the Writing for Self-Discovery process. Private intensives are available for one to four people at a time, so two couples, or a mix of couples and singles. But I don’t advertise. So if you’re planning a trip to Bali and would like incorporate a few days of working with your subconscious truths while you’re here, let me know!


  23. Aida Semaan
    Oct 06, 2016 @ 22:50:50

    Hi Sherry
    I am so happy for you to find your place to live
    I moved already five times and feel I find my place to live and to be close by my son ,but I am not happy where I am I like to move back to San Diego , when I read your article I was so happy to have the courage to move again
    Thank you
    Aida .


    • writingforselfdiscovery
      Oct 06, 2016 @ 23:18:46

      Change and moving does take courage. For many of us there is a certain place where we feel most alive and healthy in body, mind, and spirit. If we can be there it is the most gratifying, energizing existence. Good for you, Aida, for finding the courage to do what feels best for you.


  24. Anonymous
    Oct 07, 2016 @ 00:41:19

    Sherry you are an inspiration to all of us who are feeling stuck I only hope I can find the strength one day to venture out of my shell and fly on my own Virginia


    • writingforselfdiscovery
      Oct 07, 2016 @ 03:14:21

      It’s funny you should mention venturing out of your shell. I find flying alone one of the most anonymous things I do! You are a seat number, no more, no less. Sometimes there’s a chatty person next to you but often people have their nose in a book, or their ears plugged into the movies, or whatever. The people that are a little more outgoing are often fascinating! It might be interesting to list your fears and take a good look at the stories you are telling yourself about being afraid to fly alone. I truly hope you can get to the core of your fear and overcome it.


  25. Joyce Blumberg
    Dec 07, 2016 @ 16:59:14

    How do you do that if your spouse is content with the way things are??


    • Karin Grouf
      Dec 07, 2016 @ 17:15:53

      You find the space within yourself through meditation and something that yu need not share. It can be done just widen your horizons. Even a walk early in the morning .


      • writingforselfdiscovery
        Dec 07, 2016 @ 17:42:36

        Thank you for your comment, Karin. Yes, meditation and walking are both wonderful ways to connect with yourself and expand outside yourself. These two are an every-day recipe for mental, emotional, and physical well-being.


    • writingforselfdiscovery
      Dec 07, 2016 @ 17:34:37

      Dear Joyce,

      That’s the million dollar question, isn’t it? And it’s one that only you can answer. But I have a few more questions that may help you work your way to that answer. First, are YOU content with the way things are? If yes, end of conversation. If no, why not? What needs to change for you? What do you want your life to look like? Without a clear picture of what you want, you’ll suffer a low-grade discontent that eats away at happiness. But once you know, you can change your circumstances to give yourself more of that, whatever it is. Perhaps you begin in small ways while you ‘flesh out’ your desires. Sometimes knowing what one wants doesn’t come fully formed. Often it’s a process of learning how to give to yourself, of discovering how to honor those personal preferences, desires, that perhaps have been stuffed, pushed down, and denied while in service to your family for many years.

      I don’t know your situation. I can only speak from my own experience and that of many thousands of other women who have tended to the concerns of others while denying their own needs to some degree in the process. When we reach retirement age there may be fewer responsibilities which can make room for more options.

      Once you know in part or in whole what you want, have that conversation with your husband. Hopefully you have conversations! I know that’s not always a given. Perhaps there are compromises. Maybe he doesn’t want what you want but is willing to cooperate in some way that allows you to expand. If you can agree together on a solution that works for both of you, that’s excellent.

      But if he’s a grumpy curmudgeon, set in his ways and feels threatened by your desire for something more, you’ll have to decide whether what you want/need for happiness is important. How important? Is it the MOST important or is it secondary to your relationship? Most likely he’s responding out of fear of change. Change is extremely difficult for some people, especially as we age. We want security, which is an illusion, but we assume that if we dig in our heels and keep everything just the way it is, we’ll be fine. The opposite, however, is true. Stagnation, boredom, narcissism, depression, all those negatives set in.

      I wish you well, Joyce. I was there and it feels like being between a rock and a hard place. But there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. You have to find what works for you. I believe by the time you start reaching out, asking the questions as you are now, deep down you already know the answers.

      I’m wishing the best for you.


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