I’ve evolved. That’s right, I’ve achieved a higher level of consciousness. It was bound to happen sooner or later with the yoga, meditation and what-not, or so I’ve been told. Here’s how I know…
Face-off with an Arachnid
05 Mar 2013 5 Comments
in Bali Tags: arachnid, Bali, broom, compassion, conciousness, evolved, mosquito net, poisonous spider, spider
Bali Building Codes
04 Mar 2013 14 Comments
in Bali Tags: architecture, Bali, building codes, creativity, Hindu, Indonesia, Offerings, temple, Yoga
I have seen construction sites in Bali that make me shake my head. After working on commercial projects in the interior design industry for years, I was familiar with strictly enforced building codes. In Bali I’ve heard of only one: nothing can be built higher than a palm tree. There are some mighty tall palm trees, but a building over 3 storeys is rare.
That leaves the playing field virtually wide open for creativity, nevermind safety or accessibility! The Balinese are artists and if they can think it, they will build it. Or if YOU can think it, they will build it. Which brings me to the subject of my latest residence.
From the outside it looks like a normal structure with handsome brick and stonework. There’s a wide tiled terrace a step up from the yard and a garden of banana trees, coconut palms, frangipani, and thousands of unknown plant species.
Lush foliage borders the right of the entrance. The gap between the wall and the roof allows fresh air and light into the luxurious bathroom.
Stepping through the door, however, all similarities to Western design cease. The front entrance allows a view straight through the house to the back garden, and there are no walls or windows blocking the sight. A wooden platform floats serrenely in the air above the tiled living area. The stairway access has no unsightly railings and the surround enclosing the platform has openings large enough to allow countless small children to fall through unhindered.
It is something like heaven to wake up at dawn, pull out my yoga mat, trundle up the steps, and greet the day with sun salutes while nature sings it’s lungs out around me.
A daybed occupies one end of the floating deck and I could easily live right here. This is where I enjoy morning coffee and start my writing for the day. The view of the inside of the house from this perch reveals a sweet informality. The furnishings, although not entirely my taste, work for me. The home was built to last 25 years ago, with brick walls 10′ high, tile floors, and a ceiling that soars 20 feet.
Below the platform is an extensive terrace living area. It is open on three sides and as one friend remarked, “It looks like anyone or anything could walk right in.”
Indeed they could. But the bedrooms and the kitchen have locking doors, and I tend to like the security of that when I sleep! However, the bedroom window has only a decorative wooden design that would prohibit an adult from entering but it wouldn’t stop a monkey! I just lower the bamboo blinds, arrange the diaphanous mosquito netting to make a cozy tent, and sleep more soundly that I have in years.
This house comes with staff. Ibu is a 67 year old woman who wades across the river every morning (there’s no bridge) to make breakfast, clean the house, and do whatever else I need. The first day she disappeared for about an hour. When she returned she was carrying a box of a dozen two quart bottles of drinking water on her head. I fussed at her and she left again and returned with a second big box of 12 more. I can barely slide the darn thing across the floor and she not only lifted it up to her head, she carried it all the way from the market. And she did that twice. Later, she was nonplused when she saw I had made my own coffee and she apologized profusely for not knowing I wanted it.
It’s hard for me to let her do anything. She’s a grandmother and has worked hard all her life. But this is her livelihood. She speaks no English. I am grateful I know a little Indonesian by now, but it’s not nearly enough. Still we are making each other understood, and it is fascinating to see how much is communicated non-verbally with absolute clarity.
I did , however, ask one thing of her. It is something I want done that only she can do. The Balinese fill their homes and businesses with offerings daily. They spend hours making the little palm dishes that hold the bits of moss and flowers. My new home has the traditional house temple. 
There are statues of Rama and Sita, Buddha, and Dewi Sri. It was a strange feeling to know, though I am not Hindu, that something needed to be done, that there was unfinished business here. So I asked Ibu if she would honor my house and make the daily prayers and offerings. The next day she arrived with no less than 15 of the little palm dishes filled with flowers. She lit sticks of incense and put on her sarong. Then she went through the rooms placing each offering where only she knows it should be placed, sprinkling holy water, and making prayers.
There was one on either side of the entrance to the house. There were three in the front yard, one in the back. There were two in the kitchen, one on the dining table. I watched with moist eyes.
My heart overflowed with gratitude for Ibu, and the grandmothers who know what to do. They are a dying breed. When she finished the ritual, she told me that now the house was protected. We had appeased the high gods, the low gods and the animals. We had blessed the plants and the ancestors, and brought safety to my home.
Pasek stopped by later. “How much you pay?” he asked, noticing the offerings. When I told him he quizzed me again, “How many?” Again I offered up the requested information. I’ve gotten used to the direct questions of the Balinese. If they want to know, no matter how personal, they ask. When I approached a temple a few months ago with a Balinese friend he turned to me and in all seriousness asked, “Are you menstruating?”
I don’t know if Pasek approved of the price or not. It doesn’t matter. For sixty cents a day I have the joy of watching Ibu perform a ceremony that has deep meaning for her and has its roots in the oldest belief system on earth. Even if the complexities of it are beyond my understanding, it nourishes my soul, and that’s a bargain at any price.
Negotiating Bali Style!
23 Feb 2013 16 Comments
in Bali Tags: Bali, Balinese, Besakih, haggling, Indonesia, negotiation, sarong, vendors
We were on our way back to Ubud. Made Mangku had stopped to gift us with another incredible view of rice terraces. We took our photos, ooo’d and aaah’d and were returning to the car when, across the road, a sarong vendor spotted us. The last thing I need right now is another sarong so I asked her in my best pidgin Indonesian if I could take her photo. She immediately went into a sort of sarong ballet, whipping a bright pink one off the stack on her head and winding it around her ample middle.
After the photogenic pose she sashayed toward our little group saying, “Nice photo…now you buy!” Terri, Barbara, and Sharon had that look of, “Oh no…here we go again.” Our trip to Besakih, the Mother Temple, had been well populated with many opportunities to purchase the handicrafts of Bali, and my friends are not overly fond of negotiating. But there was something in that impish face…and I decided there was nothing I needed MORE than a sarong from this engaging woman. So it began…
She handed me the pink one and I quickly made her understand that pink was NOT my color. Then the stack of them came down off her head and we went at it.

When she answered I, of course, looked horrified. “Sanghat mahal! Bagi saya sanghat mahal!” (Too expensive for me!)

“Berapa?” I asked again, knowing what she would say. “Berapa?” she asked back. How much would I pay. In other words, “Okay, let’s get real, what’s it worth to you?” I named my price. Then it was her turn to look horrified.

After a bit more haggling, she agreed to my offer. Then with that decidedly smug look she quipped, “Good for me, good for you.” When mama’s happy, everybody’s happy!

My Balinese friend should have won an Oscar for her performance. By the end our audience was laughing hilariously, except for Sharon. She was behind her camera capturing the whole show in living color.
This is my 9th sarong. Two of them turned into beautiful pillow covers. One is now a pair of wild pants. The rest give me many choices when ceremonial dress is in order. But for sheer, dramatic delight, this one is my all time favorite!
Note: The white stuff on my forehead is rice. We were allowed to participate in a Hindu prayer ritual at the Mother Temple. It is a complex process, but at one point sticky rice is affixed to the middle of the forehead. Mine really stuck!
Antidote for Blue Mondays
18 Feb 2013 5 Comments
in Bali Tags: Bali, call-and-reaponse, cocks, Indonesia, laughing yoga, roosters, Yoga
At first I thought it was an obnoxious crowd of drunks creating noise pollution in my already noisy neighborhood. It came out of nowhere, all at once. Folks who are partially pickled don’t usually hit the same level of inebriation at the same time. I’m not an authority, but it seems to begin with one or two, then as the night wears on the rowdiness escalates. My neighbors were full bore from the get-go. Forget trying to think, or read, or concentrate on anything. It was like having a college frat party in my back yard. The racket was continuous. Raucous howls of mirth, peals upon peals of shrill hee-hee-heeing, deep guffaws and whoops and cackles went on, and on, and on, non-stop, for an hour. Inquiring politely into the sudden deterioration of the environment, I had my answer: laughing yoga.
This is a residential neighborhood in Ubud, Bali. Unlike a residential neighborhood in the U.S. where four walls, a closed door, a yard, a fence, and laws about disturbing the peace keep things quietly controlled, here it is not so. Life in Bali is lived openly, on terraces, balconies, and in the streets. So when Dayu next door is talking to Wayan, I hear the conversation. When Nyoman’s cocks are crowing in a wild call-and-response contest with Putu’s roosters, they’re within spitting distance. But you get all that going and add about a hundred people doing laughing yoga and…holy buckets!
It’s every Monday night. I could set my clock by it. I need to make plans for Monday nights. I need to be far away. Although I have to admit, the quiet is tangible when they stop. The absence of their cacophony leaves a silent void. The roosters are so shocked they don’t crow for a good 15 minutes. Nobody says a word. Peace. It’s almost worth it to hang around just for that. Or…I could join them…hahahahahahehehehehehohohohohoho…!
Black Ghost
11 Feb 2013 2 Comments
in Bali Tags: Bali, chador, dreadlocks, ghost, Indonesia, Muslim, mystery, platform shoes
I wait, standing a bit back from the crowd around the stainless steal corral, eyes scanning the trickle of humanity exiting the airport. The double glass doors marked with ‘DO NOT ENTER’ symbols, whoosh open and closed, spitting out dazed and weary travelers. I am early. It will take about half an hour for my American friend to clear customs. I’m cognizant but not expecting to see the familiar face quite yet.
I allow my mind to drift into a semi dream state and mindlessly observe the flow of nations streaming past. Suddenly my skin prickles and the air takes on a strange quality. It is as though a vacuum has been created in the space around me and time stops. A dark form floats past in a cloud of expensive perfume. Shrouded in fabric, lightweight and of finest quality, I see nothing but her eyes yet I know she is beautiful. With each step the hem of her garmet ripples and billows slightly but the tiny feet remain hidden. She skims the earth. The air stirs with the cool touch of her passing. My eyes are glued, my heart barely beats, I am holding my breath.
The man with her is appropriate. He has been polished to a bronzed glow. His hair glistens, every strand of it perfectly in place. Immaculately clean, groomed, manicured, he is flawless. But I only glance at him. It is the woman who engages my fantasy. I pause in a space between bias and judgment to acknowledge a glimmer of understanding. Whatever form inhabits the drifting cloth is clear to the imagination only. The woman inside is safe from carnal eyes yet she has seduced me. I watch them as the crowd folds in behind them and they are out of sight.
A tall girl in 6″ platforms with a skirt barely there strides by. Her tattooed escort lopes a few steps behind. Dreadlocks wrapped with colorful bits of yarn brush his waist. I remember the couple only for the exaggerated contrast. Something dark and negative dissolved in my heart today. The black ghost stole it as she glided by. I feel much lighter without the weight of my prejudice.
A Dark River
04 Feb 2013 8 Comments
in Bali Tags: Bali, demons, gods, Indonesia, legend, ogoh-ogoh, Rituals, seekers, spirituality
Approaching Bali, proceed with caution.
I have christened Bali the island of transformation because that’s what happens here. Like it or not, want it or not, expect it or not, it happens. Some of us come knowing, seeking that paradigm shift in our reality. We’re hungry for the energies that pass to and fro and swirl around us in this magical place. We embrace the spirituality, so different from anything we’ve known, with deep longing for the flavor of truth. But it isn’t the holy men, spectres in white, chanting, praying, and sprinkling supplicants with purifying water. And it isn’t the wild parade of ogoh-ogoh’s careening through the streets the day before Nyepi. It is far more subtle than that.
For me, it creeps into my soul like fog snakes it’s way up the Campuan River Valley at dusk.
It settles into my cells with certainty, and like the heavy green of wet jungle, it anchors me to my life.
The Hindu beliefs practiced by the Balinese are complex beyond fathoming. When I first arrived I was determined to ‘figure it out’! I asked everyone who would talk to me about the ceremonies and the daily offerings. My head was filled with information. As my friendships here deepened, so did my understanding. A dark river flows beneath the glitter and pageantry of the temple. It is the realm of good and evil. The towering fruit offerings, intricate dances, trances and prayers, are channels of communication between earthly man and unearthly beings. The tranquility of Bali is held in balance by the ancient rituals of it’s people and prayers carried skyward on sweet clouds of incense.
The casual visitors passing through may be aware only of a sense of safety. They drink in the beauty of the landscape, the sun, the sea, and return home without a backward glance. At some day in the future they may recall their visit and a momentary calm will suffuse them. But the heart that arrives broken, the spirit that arrives parched, the mind that comes seeking, will have a different experience. The island knows. She musters her unseen armies, the dark warriors of legend and myth that manifest here, and battles are waged for those troubled souls.
So we of the Western mindset, logical, factual, but hardly mystical, often tend to dismiss the whole business as superstition. In our arrogance we attribute this intimate dance with the supernatural to ignorance. I am not a religious person, but I am progressively more spiritual. I have neither denied the existence of goddesses, gods, angels, and demons, nor have I accepted a patriarchal trinity. I know I have prejudices, but I can feel them melting away, yielding to mysteries that I can’t explain. Once again I am letting go, letting go, letting go of tightly held untruths, creating room in my life for magic.
The Dharma of Diarrhea
30 Jan 2013 6 Comments
in Bali Tags: aches, Bali, chills, Deepak Chopra, delerium, diarrhea, fever, flu, Indonesia, mindfulness, Thich Nhat Hanh, Ubud, vomiting, young coconut water
I enjoyed a fun night out with friends watching a film at Namaste. It was Deepak Chopra doing what Deepak does so well. And if you don’t know Deepak, I’ll clue in in. He was charming an audience with his brilliant mind. And though I’m onto him, I succumbed to his spell and left believing that if you think it, so it shall be. Of course I believe that to a certain degree anyway, but on with my story.
I hit my pillow within moments of returning home and fell asleep instantly. About 2 a.m. something roused me. Suddenly I was fully awake, flinging my bedcovers wildly to the side, and mad-dashing it to the toilet not quite in time. I felt remarkably ill but the cramping subsided and I fumbled in the drawer for fresher undies. Back in bed I employed deep breathing techniques and tried to quell the disturbance in my belly. That lasted the whole of 10 minutes and I was again dashing, and again off in my timing. This story repeated itself until I realized I should just set by a store of clean underthings and minimize my effort. I grabbed a handful of tidy-whites and stacked them conveniently near the toilet.
About this time things were escalating. My body has a strange and familiar routine when it needs to vomit. First a sensation like a ripple of electricity passes through me. Cold sweat breaks out and nausea of the most wretched kind triggers the gag reflex. Then I pass out. The throne in my current residence sits on a curious little 5″ pedestal. That would allow for a 5 inch greater distance to fall and smack my head on the unyeilding tile floor in the event of a faint. The electric ripple had begun. I scrambled off the throne and went prone on the tile averting catastrophe. The technique worked remarkably well. I skipped the faint and went straight to full-on vomiting.
The following two days were lost in a delerium of raging fever, chills, and body aches that made me wonder where I had filed the ibuprophen. But I was in no condition to look for it. I had to conserve my energy for the ongoing poop dashes. There had been a single bout of vomiting but I seemed to have an inexhaustible supply of do-do. Ketut came by with fresh young coconut water. I affectionately screamed at him to get out and get as far away from my vile germs as possible. Wayan stopped in and insisted on hacking the nut open and pouring the nutrient packed water into a glass so I could drink it. I began to scream at her, too, but she sushed me and told me she works with patients at the hospital and never gets sick. I meekly obeyed.
It’s now the end of the eighth day of feeling less than wonderful. I have a new found reverence for the word, diarrhea. I also have a s**t-load of dirty laundry secured tightly in a plastic bag that I can’t bring myself to open. I am contemplating just making it go away, but I have visions of roving dogs sniffing it out and distributing my dainties throughout the streets of Ubud. If had a washing machine and could hold my nose, close my eyes, and dump the darned things in a tub of swirling, soapy, water, it would be a non-issue. But no. Every stinky piece must be scrubbed by hand and hung out to dry.
I know what I have to do. It’s a lesson…of course. I remember the teaching by Thich Nhat Hanh where he tells a student, “There are two ways to wash the dishes. The first is to wash the dishes in order to have clean dishes and the second is to wash the dishes in order to wash the dishes.” It’s an exercise in mindfulness. I need to wash the undies in order to wash the undies and take joy in the fact that I have life and breath available for washing the blighted underwear! But not tonight. Not yet. I’m quite certain that tmorrow is destined to be deeply supportive of this particular mindfulness practice!
Beautiful Lies
21 Jan 2013 3 Comments
in Bali Tags: Bali, CFC's, Climate change, garbage, Indonesia, industrial waste, Kali, Marija Gimbutas, oil fracking, pollution, Tantric Buddhism, violence
The sky tonight is pink and blue, a poetry sky. It spans overhead like a serene blanket of calm. It holds soft promise of sleep undisturbed by storm.
I have come from visiting a friend. We spoke for hours about climate change, our concerns for a planet that is filling up with garbage, the violence of mankind toward the earth and toward each other. We wondered what the future holds for our children. We talked about the work of archaeologist Marija Gimbutas and about oil fracking. We touched briefly on spiritual matters, her Christian Science background, Tantric Buddhism, and the twelve Kalis. Over the hours together we covered a lot of ground and still had time for a delicious meal and a bottle of wine.
It rained during dinner, cats and dogs for a few minutes, then settled into a light sprinkle. I texted my driver and told him I was ready. He arrived and I straddled the motorbike for a quick, refreshing ride home arriving just as the sun was setting. I paused to gaze at the raw perfection of that sky. How beautiful. No matter what we pump into it, CFC’s, carbon monoxide, sulfur, nitrogen, industrial wastes, at sundown it puts on a magnificent show. We don’t deserve it. Maybe if it were dirty gray, maybe if day after day the grime of it blocked the sun, maybe if we couldn’t escape the reality of the damage we are doing…maybe?
I ususally try to finish a post on an upbeat note, but search as I might, I can’t find the positive spin for this one. I suspect there may not be a ‘feel good’ ending to this story.
“Cinch me up, Scotty!” The Victorian corset is alive and well in Bali.
14 Jan 2013 15 Comments
in Bali Tags: Bali, Beam my up Scotty!, corset, Indonesia, Kebaya, Mona Lisa, sarong, Ubud, Victorian undergament
Vanity, thy name is woman. The quote is attributed to Shakespeare, but he actually said, “Frailty, thy name is woman.” I take exception to that! But vanity, in my case, is sadly appropriate. I stooped low. But given the circumstances I trust you will be gentle with your judgements.
Living among the warmth and generosity of the Balinese people, I frequently have invitations to important ceremonies. In ignorance I first attended in my regular Western clothing and quickly felt like the poor orphan in the midst of splendor. The statuesque grace of the female Balinese form takes on goddess-like qualities when outfitted in full ceremonial regalia. I quietly observed from the sidelines and resolved to clean up my act.
I bought a sarong at the market. Rushing home I spent the next few hours struggling to assemble myself and look like those ethereal creatures I was trying to emulate. What in the name of the goddess did they do with all those yards of fabric? The next ceremony was imminent so I put on a t-shirt with a little sleeve, wrapped myself several times around with the sarong fabric, tied it, tucked it, and hoped it would remain secure. I was lumpy but less conspicuous than before.
This time I noticed that all the women wore a blouse of a similar style, and many of them were made of colorful lace. The next day I returned to the market and left with a stunning golden lace kebaya and a matching satin sash.
Back at home I tried on my ensemble. When I donned the lacey kebaya dismaying amounts of naked flesh were visible between my bra and my sash. The Balinese women had no flesh showing. What was I missing? For the next ceremony I added a tank-top under the lace for modesty and set out determined to get this figured out once and for all! Discreetly I peered more closely at what was going on under the beautiful, Balinese kebayas. What gave them that sculpted elegance I had failed to achieve? Where were their lumps? I was horrified to discover that these amazing women who, less than 50 years ago roamed bare-breasted and free, had succumbed to being sausaged into that chamber of torture, the Victorian CORSET! Just then I felt my sarong begin to unwind and slide down my hips.
The following day I stepped into the shop of a tailor whose exquisite kebayas hung on display in the window. I asked her if she sold corsets. She was not familiar with the term but employing a few gestures we came to an understanding. “Mona Lisa,” she stated, as if that ended the conversation. “Mona Lisa?” I echoed. “This,” and I gestured again wrapping my hands around my ribs and squeezing, ” is Mona Lisa?” She assured me it was and that she did not sell the exotic undergarment.
So my search began. With each failed attempt to locate what I wanted I grew more determined to own one. Finally, in a remote shop in Ubud, I found a woman who sold corsets. I knew I was going to be spending far more than the kebaya, sarong and sash put together, but this was THE piece de resistance! The corset vendor explained that there were three qualities: economy quality, better quality, and THE Mona Lisa. I tried the economy model first. The itchy lace ripped as she was securing it around me. We moved up to better quality. The zipper broke half way up my ribcage. Then with reverence she removed Mona Lisa from its tissue wrapper. I felt the smooth silkiness of it caressing my body. She hooked it and zipped it. The stays lifted me out of my dumpiness. I was pushed upward, outward and transformed. At that point I would have paid anything. I felt gorgeous. But I regained presence of mind enough to make a slight negotiation of the price and left with my prize.
Yesterday I wore my very own Mona Lisa for the first time. Even though vanity would normally deter me from posting the ‘before’ version, I feel it is essential to illustrate the absolute necessity of THE undergarment.































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